Is NAD (National Association of the Deaf) only for deaf people who suffered and were oppressed against?
Are you unqualified because you might not have suffered or experienced oppression as a deaf person?
That is what I was told by a deaf gay man. To begin with I thought it was a laughable notion until I realized how serious this man was and that he really believed it. And then I realized something. It's the root of a culprit within the big D society. This man actually believed it and he was so disappointed with his own life. He's like many unhappy and disappointed big D people I knew.... always busy whining about how they have suffered and experienced oppression in a horrible way. Read below and see what I just learned from this deaf gay man who wanted to ask me these questions directly.
*quoting this man*
Do you remember there were times when you went online and watched a video and
then find out that the video isn't captioned?
Do you remember the time when you looked at the facial expression of a hearing employer, knowing that they're not interested in you?
Do you remember the time you were bullied because you were Deaf?
Do you remember the time where your parents don't sign or encouraged you to use your speech?
Do you remember the time when your hearing family members left you out of their conversation?
Do you remember the time that Deaf people couldn't get married?
We, as a Deaf people, sometimes take things for granted. We forgot what it means to be Deaf. We forgot what it meant to be discriminated. We forgot what it meant to be oppressed. We forgot what it meant to be a minority. To this day, we are still struggling for our rightful place in our society.
*end quote*
I told him I honestly did not remember this kind of life. I told him I grew up having weekly captioned films in my own home. Told him I never applied for a job because at age 18 I went straight into corporate world and made a name for myself. I told him I was never bullied. I grew up in a big deaf family so signing were everywhere. Told him I never felt left out. Told him deaf people could always marry and that my seven generations of deaf family were all married to deaf spouses. Told him as I grew up I've never felt oppressed by anybody. Told him that it probably had to do with one's attitude and that I thought I probably had the right attitude. I told him I was sorry if he had a different experience.
His response was, "It was not because you had the right attitude. It seems like you have never experienced oppression, discrimination, rejection and bullying. That explains everything. You are unfit to understand the minority and the oppressed.
I replied and told him that was precisely my point. Not every deaf person experienced oppression. Not every deaf person have exactly the same struggles therefore I asked him not to speak for me or others. I suggested that he speak for himself. Otherwise he would be a fool.
He replied and said, "Fool... I am going to show you who's the fool. You just proved my point. Just because you have never experience such struggles, does not give you the place to say that NAD is wrong for endorsing to end the injustice, struggle, and oppression. Sir, this is called ignorance. I am through with you."
I replied and told him that NAD was not only restricted to those who suffered, struggled and were oppressed against. I asked him to show me a statement where NAD might have said that the organization was only for those who suffered, struggled and were oppressed against. And I repeated my point that not every deaf person suffered. I suggested that he learn to speak for himself and respect others who might have a completely different journey and perhaps learn how one could lead a productive and happy life as I have.
But no, he was not interested in hearing successful stories. He was not interested in learning about some of the happy and productive deaf people out there in this world. He did not want the recipe for success I had offered. He was only interested in unsuccessful stories. He was actively pursuing recipes from those who suffered and failed. His energy feeds off negativity because his lifehood and deafhood depended on it. Negativity seem to validate his inferior esteem.
After having this conversation with him I gained a better understanding of what was wrong with the big D society. They're not interested in successful stories because it offends them greatly. They only want to hear about those who didn't have a good life in order to feel validated. I thought it was rather interesting. It gave me something to think about.
After having this conversation with him I gained a better understanding of what was wrong with the big D society. They're not interested in successful stories because it offends them greatly. They only want to hear about those who didn't have a good life in order to feel validated. I thought it was rather interesting. It gave me something to think about.
Is NAD strictly for those who suffered and those who were oppressed against? If so, I apologize. I had a completely different view of NAD. I saw it as a a place for all deaf people who could share their experience, the good and the bad, including unsuccessful and successful stories. Why reject successful and happy deaf people who did not suffer in this world? Don't they see these happy and successful stories as an asset to the deaf community so that deaf people are able to learn from them? Is it a sin to say I've had a great life as a deaf person? Is it a sin to live and tell about it?
Apparently it is the ultimate sin as far as the culturally and linguistically big D deaf people are concerned. Could it be the reason why they are not winning very many battles? Is it why their world's becoming rapidly small and smaller? Are they the reason why young deaf people are not engaging themselves into the deaf community? What made these 'desperate and angry' big 'D' people think that deaf youths would find them interesting and appealing if they didn't host a wealth of successful and happy deaf people.
Ever heard of this saying... "you are who you hang out with"? What will happen to you if you constantly hang around out with angry deaf people who felt that they have suffered and were oppressed against? Sooner or later you'll begin to sound like them and eventually, you'll be one of them. Not kidding you here. And that's what happened to National Association of the Deaf. There seem to be no shortage of negativity in this organization. They seem to lack positive and successful role models because they were chewed out for saying they didn't suffer or were not oppressed against.
Apparently it is the ultimate sin as far as the culturally and linguistically big D deaf people are concerned. Could it be the reason why they are not winning very many battles? Is it why their world's becoming rapidly small and smaller? Are they the reason why young deaf people are not engaging themselves into the deaf community? What made these 'desperate and angry' big 'D' people think that deaf youths would find them interesting and appealing if they didn't host a wealth of successful and happy deaf people.
Ever heard of this saying... "you are who you hang out with"? What will happen to you if you constantly hang around out with angry deaf people who felt that they have suffered and were oppressed against? Sooner or later you'll begin to sound like them and eventually, you'll be one of them. Not kidding you here. And that's what happened to National Association of the Deaf. There seem to be no shortage of negativity in this organization. They seem to lack positive and successful role models because they were chewed out for saying they didn't suffer or were not oppressed against.
In short, NAD has been infested and is desperately in need of being disinfected.
I want to take few moments to thank this deaf gay man for giving me a new insight on this matter.
I want to take few moments to thank this deaf gay man for giving me a new insight on this matter.
Hi Barry,
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, I never thought that insight would help us understand that it is all about negativity while many of us would prefer to think positively and be productive. I recall I was doing like a mad scientist when I was very young boy, experimented on this situation. One boy I pinched on his skin, he simply ran to his mother, and other guy that I pinched confronted me and asked me why I pinched him.
That is where we are encourage to stand up and be ourselves not whining about their (hearing) behaviour. It is no need to bring their negativity into public. There are many service including psychologists that help them overcome the fears. All they need to do this in private to keep positive and very productive out there.
Like you, I don’t have any negative answers that was asked by that man. When I grow up I was encouraged to face the world. It is not only deaf people that can end up like this. There are many people out in the world suffered under this same circumstance, for instance, third world. Many people out there are unable to find food or have a decent homes. They have to face this. Why can those whiner do the same even they have their own homes.
Hi Cavvy.
DeleteThe 'pinching' experiment you did demonstrated how people might view things differently and how they'd respond differently. It reflects their mindsets.
I agree with you about the essences of approaches. Dealing with it in private or making a public issue out of it. And yes, there are professional help available for those who struggle with this issue.
And you're right. It does not only happen to deaf people. It happens to everybody in this world. Many people out there can hear and speak perfectly fine but yet they're still being oppressed. They're still suffering. It has to do with their attitude and how they see life. Do they really understand the meaning of life. If not then they are in it for a long and difficult lesson. You made good points.
Can i ask you why you used the term "gay" in this blog where sexual orientation has no significant relevance to issues about success in the deaf community?
ReplyDeleteSure Melissa. That's an important question. When this man spoke to me he clearly identified himself as gay. So, in essence I respected his choice of words and how he choose to identify himself. When people choose to call themselves something like 'queers' then I will call them. It's done out of respect. If this person does not call himself gay then I wouldn't have bothered. I agree with you. There is no significant relevance between sexual orientation and success. But again, I respected his decision to identify himself as gay.
ReplyDeleteSir,
ReplyDeleteI believe that you had misunderstood me. The content you provided are off. My vlog was a mere response to your opposition to NAD's endorsement for marriage equality. I have used terms such as oppression, discrimination, rejection, etc. because they are very relevant to the experience of the majority of our Deaf members and to NAD. If you knew the history and the intention of why NAD was established, you would have gain a better understand how oppression are relevant to NAD. I do not see NAD as a place for the oppressed. It's not restricted for the oppressed. NAD is here to protect and to promote the right of Deaf Americans just like NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) as they protect and promote the rights for African Americans. As I have mentioned before that it's very appropriate for NAD to endorse gay marriage because it does concern to some of our Deaf members. NAD is one of the many organizations that contribute to the welfare of our livelihood and the progression of our American society. I hope my message is clear this time.
Randy
Thank you Randy for stopping by. No, I didn't misunderstand you. You made yourself abundantly clear. You wondered if I remember those times and I told you I didn't. You then snapped back and said I was unfit to understand the minorities and the oppressed. Didn't it occur to you that I was born and raised with the minorities. Went to school with them. They are a big part of my life but yet oppression was not an issue for many of us. Some claimed to be oppressed and some didn't. And yet we were deaf. It boiled down to one's attitude and how one choose to approach life. It was you who didn't want to hear positive and successful stories that are actually out there. I pity ya if you don't want to open your eyes.
DeleteFurthermore, Randy.... I've already indicated how I was raised in a big family who taught me so much about NAD therefore I know it's history. I know why it was formed. However in this ever changing world it's not necessary for people like you to stay obsessed with the cause and effects of oppression. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure that out. NAD needs to open itself to so many successful stories out there, and expose actual deaf people who are completely content with their lives. Not everybody suffered. Not everybody experienced oppression. But that does not disqualify from anything. They might have some secrets you could learn from. But no, you were not interested.
ReplyDeleteI also still do not see what NAD has to do with people's lifestyles. What does GLBT issues have to do with deaf issues? Absolutely nothing. Are you gay because you are deaf? No.
I understand what you're talking about. I really do. I have nothing personal against your personal success. You had a very, very fortunate life. There's nothing wrong with that. I get it. I understand that. When I said I understand that, it does not mean that I vouch your idea regarding to my statement. I understand your interpretation toward to my idea. Unfortunately, it's not what I am trying to present. My statement has nothing to do with others' or your personal success. I have concluded that I am just going to fold the card here because I because can't get my message any more clear to you. It's beyond my reach now. It is my hope that sometime, somewhere a person will come into your life, revisit this discussion, and deliver the message much more efficient tha I can. I wish you joy and happiness in life.
ReplyDeleteRegards
Randal, thank you for responding. I appreciate it. Please be assured of something here. I understood your points and I understood where you were coming from. You would not know it but being a part of a huge deaf family and deaf community for the past 45 years I've seen it all. You didn't provide anything new. In fact you sounded like a broken record player. No pun intended but I've been jaded by people when they try to stereotype deaf people as the sufferer and the party of the oppressed. People like you need to recognize the fact that there are so many deaf people out there who don't feel as if they've been oppressed by hearing people. That's why I made a suggestion that you refrain from trying to speak for me or them. Let them speak for themselves. And if they tell you about their wonderful life, don't belittle them for it. People like you could learn so much from them only if you're willing to listen. This goes for everybody. Thank you having this discussion with me. I'll fold as well and I'd like to wish the best for you.
ReplyDeleteI think it's now definitely safe to say that it is time to end this regime at NAD...
ReplyDeleteI agree. Nothing seem worth saving over there.
DeleteWell, the NAD DOES put up the face of George Veditz, the poster-boy for anti-d/Deaf oppression. Why display success stories (both in the presence and the absence of oppression) like I. King Jordan when it's much easier to rally the troops by putting the audist bogeyman at every corner?
ReplyDeleteBut let's put this discussion into perspective. My view as that the NAD was founded as an interest group for d/Deaf whose civil rights were being trampled on, much like the ADL and the NAACP. Such organizations serve good purposes when combating actual ongoing oppression, but too often they fall into the trap of "inventing" or exaggerating negative situations in order to sustain themselves. So let civil rights be the NAD's purpose, and not have it overstep its bounds by claiming to be a leadership organization that speaks for all d/Deaf.
Where does that leave the positive experiences? Well, there are plenty of organizations that revolve around them, but none so organized as the NAD. That must change.
Come to think of it... Deafhood in its original concept was supposed to be a journey for all who dealt with the absence of hearing. I would think that positive, oppression-free journeys would be a part of Deafhood, too. In better hands, it could have become a pluralistic and (gasp) holistic organization for all to share their experiences, instead of... well you know.