When Narcissists looks like one but is not.

I enjoyed the v/blog done by ASCdeaf. I could relate to the topic because I have been accused of using my child to promote an agenda. My 15 years old son is very interested in politics and loves to follow DeafVideo.tv and he makes it a habit of monitoring my activities there. He loves to try and find humor in everything that we do. He has been accused of doing things for me, as in being my puppet. In short, as a deaf child he is not given the credit where it is due simply because his father happens to be a well-known controversial v/blogger. Technically speaking, he feels as if he is stuck in my shadow, which I can understand. It’s natural for children to look up to their parents and do some of the same things themselves. A parent that loves to fish will likely have children who love to fish too. Parents that love to camp will likely have children that love to camp as well. It does not mean they’re being told what to do. It does not mean they do not have their own unique perspective on things.

Let's suppose you are a mother of a daughter who loves to interview people on videos. And let's supposed your daughter happens to be very active with DBC, AFA and Deafhood movements. What do you do when you are being accused of using your child? What do you do when you're being labeled as a narcissist? What do you do to encounter the problem and make sure that the credit is given where it is due? I’m sure that many parents find themselves in the same boat because their children would pick off the same interest off them just as my son picked some things off me.

Based on my observation of DBC, AFA and Deafhoodized folks, they also used their children to promote their agendas. There were many children at their events, namely rallies and protests. There are no shortage of pictures and videos of deaf parents with their children (hearing and deaf) at these events. Sometimes they do it to boost participation numbers to make their crowd appear larger. The children even carried signs in some of the places. Does that make these parents narcissists? Does that mean they're using their children?

The example that was created on a father and a son in Russia, needing access to a bathroom is not based on narcissist character but co-dependency traits. Using the child to ask for access to a bathroom has more to do with one's co-dependency trait, for the fear of being rejected and for the fear of receiving no for an answer. That, is a co-dependency trait, not a narcissist trait.

And lastly, there is a difference between a true narcissist and a look-like narcissist. A true narcissist would do or say anything to win the popularity contest. I agree. A look-like narcissist but not an actual narcissist is someone who sticks to the principle even if he or she is the alone with the point of view / opinion and does not worry about the poll (popularity contest). A true narcissist do not roam freely and they are not independent of public opinion. They fret and they worry about people’s opinion and views and will flip-flop and do anything to maintain their popularity status. A look-like narcissist but not a narcissist do not worry about such thing simply because they still see things the way they do and they stick by the principles whether it's a popular view or not. Huge differences.

It's recklessly dangerous for any professionals to try and label any parents of narcissist character for their children's behavior without knowing several things first. 1) Are the parent(s) worried about their popularity count or are they firm believer of a principle regardless of popularity count? How do you prove either points? 2) How do we know if the child is not acting on their own and if this child does not have their own unique perspective on things? And how do you prove either points? 3) How do you know if the parent or the child are not without co-dependency traits?

In short, it's not as simple as blaming it on narcissist traits. And even shameful for any professionals to stereotype majority of narcissists as 'mostly men'. The reason many men do not show up for therapies has to do with pride more than it does their narcissist traits.